Is Your Networking Like Throwing Mud at a Fence?
On Houston Greenlight Community, a discussion arose about rising above networking fears.
Joe shared his “fish out of water” experience, which I would venture to say most of us can relate to.
The NYT gives some tips for shy entrepreneurs. Here’s a snapshot.
1. Know your objective. Keith Ferrazzi says to “care” and to “help.” Walk in with the intention of doing something for others. “Networking is not about throwing mud at a fence,” he says.
In a recent teleseminar, Chris Brogan offered these thoughts: Focus on what you want to achieve rather than what you’re afraid of. Forget for a moment about how people think about you.
2. Don’t sell. Transactionalism is the nemesis of building authentic relationships! “Be patient and realize people do business with people they like and know,” says Sheryl Nicholson.
3. Network in person. Get over the hump. Force yourself to get out there. Ask relevant questions to break the ice with someone. Practice and premeditated moves make perfect.
In the end, do a little study of your networking. Pinpoint successes and room for improvement.
In anything you choose to do, when you accrue experience and be more intentional, you will learn what to expect, gain control and transform your fears into personal gains.
What’s your take on networking? Do you have horror stories? Success stories? Do you wish you did more networking? Do you network more online or face-to-face?
Keith Ferrazzi’s Who’s Got Your Back Book Tour Stop in Houston
Mondays don’t get any better than this last one.
I sat at a small cocktail table during a small event before Keith Ferrazzi’s Houston keynote for his book tour. Suddenly, Keith walks up and pulls out the chair next to me.
“Gather round; gather round!” he shouted as he stood on the chair.
Instantly, the fervor and enthusiasm in the room multiplied. He shared a few words and thanked the group. Later, we spoke briefly, and he signed my copy of Who’s Got Your Back.
You know what I really enjoyed about the whole night? It was one of those events where you could just walk up to anyone and start talking. The approachability factor was through the roof.
The Keynote
Next to San Francisco, Houston has had THE largest turnout on the book tour. Keith began by asking fun, interactive questions to set the tone and loosen the crowd.
I sat next to the VP of an energy management company. Our first conversation started with me telling him about a personal flaw that was holding me back. Read the rest of this entry »
What Tina Fey Can Teach Us
On a recent episode of 30 Rock, it’s time for Tina Fey’s (aka Liz Lemon’s) high school reunion. Like many of us, she doesn’t plan on attending. What could this formerly shy, quiet, mumbling nerd look forward to at a reunion anyway?
Later she discovers she was really the school bully who’d left her classmates in tears and with psychiatrist bills. What a misguided perception Fey had of herself!
And so it is with you and me. Sometimes, we exaggerate our positive qualities. What about the self-proclaimed “good listener” who won’t shut up? Then there are the singers (Bikini Girl, William Hung, etc.) in the preliminary weed-out stages of American Idol who think they’re God’s gift to the stage.
What’s worse is when we refuse to accept our positive qualities to the point where our growth is stymied.
Consider these two ways of speaking and living:
“I’m naturally a bad speaker.” vs. “I am working to improve my speaking.”
“I don’t know too much about X.” vs. “I’m learning a little bit more about X every day.”
When I first started working full time, I beat myself up every day. Because I saw the “truth.” I saw that I wasn’t perfect, and I wished I already knew what I was having to learn. I didn’t know that learning was OK and expected.
A few months later I learned, the truth was, I was pretty good at what I had been doing. But I just didn’t see it at the time.
Minor bad experiences can be a black cloud blocking the sun. I think the key is to let your thoughts be productive by dwelling on your new goals and intentions.
So how do you know when you’re good at something?
Should we find credibility in ourselves based on when others compliment us? Or should we find credibility in ourselves without relying on what others think?
What if someone who compliments you is just being nice? I think it’s not even worth worrying about as long as you do your part to continually improve.
There truly is a sense of freedom when you understand a personal quality that holds you (or others) back and when you can accept it and work to break it.
Give It Up for Small Victories
July 1 marks the midpoint of the year.
I know I’ve been caught up in the daily grind. Now’s a good time to evaluate what you’ve been doing with your life for the past six months. And how you’re going to keep making things happen in 2009.
What new things have you tried?
Which new people have you met?
Have you been pushing the envelope and stepping out of your comfort zone?
Did you write down your goals and systematically pursue them?
What’s the next step to move forward with that big dream you’ve been holding on to?
One thing I’ve learned this year is to accept small victories. I’ve embarked on a few projects with a big vision in mind. But things don’t always go according to plan or as move as quickly as I expected. But that doesn’t mean failure. I’m starting to appreciate the slow ascent and believe that slow and steady wins the race.
Photo by Clearly Ambiguous at flickr.com.
